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The (un) Usual Students

 

 

It has come to our attention that there are a number of employees within Welch’s Transport who feel they can operate above the law of performing only to acceptable levels during their working days.

For your safety and that of your customers; here is a list of those who have recently been identified as having achieved Competence Based Qualifications, aided and abetted by Edexcel, the UK's largest awarding body. Each of these employees has now exposed themselves to detection by receiving evidence in the form of a certificate.

		STUDENT 1: Andrew Jennings, Driver, currently served 1 year Codename; “Spike”, Evidence against; Building positive relationships with customers.
		STUDENT 2: Martin Burgess, Manager, currently served 8 years Codename; “The Specialist”, Evidence against; Delivering consistently high service levels
		STUDENT 3: Karina Smith, Driver, currently served 5 years Codename; “Kat”, Evidence against; Delivering on time, every time
		STUDENT 4: Steve Taylor, Driver, currently served 1 year Codename; “Tail-lift Taylor”, Evidence against: Consistent loyalty to the customers’ needs
		STUDENT 5: Stuart Pilmer, Driver, currently served 10.5 years Codename; “Lenny”, Evidence against; Going the extra mile to get the job done
		STUDENT 6: Andy Freestone, Contract Driver, currently served 13 years Codename; “HOG”, Evidence against; Extensive product and operational knowledge

 

Intelligence tells us that there are at least 20 drivers within Welch’s Transport who have also been recognised for a similar lifestyle of dealing in Customer Care so there is a high risk of you coming into contact with such characters.

If you recognise any person on this list or suspect other Welch’s employees of behaving in a caring, professional manner, don’t, I repeat, DON’T approach them with caution as they are all dangerously capable of helping you out.

To all our existing customers and stakeholders, thank you for helping to hone the skills of our employees because without striving to exceed your requirements, we would be sentenced to a life of professional mediocrity.

To all prospective customers, if you feel imprisoned by current service levels, give me the chance to bail you out by calling Mike Bentham on 07841 801514 or by clicking on this link and completing the sales enquiry form.

Thank you and stay safe out there!